Tag: home game

Tubesock’s Funhouse

Tubesock’s Funhouse! It’s not every day you get to participate in an event with you as the namesake, but if you come up with a crazy idea one of the perks is getting to name it. What started as a vision in my mind turned into a reality thanks to a group skaters, NSO’s, refs, and spectators who threw good sense out the window and agreed to take part in something truly unique and one of a kind, and for that I will always be grateful.

So let’s start at the beginning, how did the thoughts of clowns on skates, a midway, and the popping of balloons work its way into a roller derby event? A couple years ago, as with most great ideas, a conversation started in the pub. We were talking about the Christmas Sur5ival event we had recently attended, and how it was an awesome idea to include an extra skater (the Grinch) on the track to spice up the jams. Of course our conversation soon progressed to adding an extra team, or obstacles, or anything that could make things interesting. Eventually we started talking about something else, but the idea of doing something crazy got stuck in my head and it would be something I would flesh out over the next couple of years.

I feel that idea, of hosting a crazy event stuck with me due to a subconscious pushback against the normalization and increasing competitiveness of roller derby. Before everyone gets up in arms, I want to say these are not bad things. Roller derby is one of the best communities out there and if the rest of the world would take some lessons from us, it would be a much nicer place to live. But I feel that what made roller derby such a unique and niche sport was starting to get lost in the quest for legitimacy and rankings. The kitsch, homemade uniforms, and rebellious streak that initially attracted a lot of us to the sport was taking a back seat to serious competition, sublimated matching uniforms, and various regulating organizations. But as in life, sometimes you need to take a step back, act silly, and remember we do things because we love to do them and they bring us joy.

Fast forward to last Saturday, and what was just a thought in my mind had become a reality. Balloons, bunting, and the bar were in place. The midway was staged with various games of chance, and hell, even the track was flipped so all the action was front and center. Then I started to see people walk in. Clowns with creepy face-paint, check. NSOs and refs in various states of fancy dress, check. Showgirls ready to take their place on the midway, check. Ringmaster with accompanying whip, check. It was awesome sight, a dream brought to life!

Once the action started, everything I had hoped would work out, did. The game managers worked their magic ensuring our skaters were ready to tackle the next crazy challenge. The refs and NSOs were super chill and were not above joining in on the fun. And the skaters, god bless the skaters.

Hey you skater person, tell me if this sounds like fun:

  • Skate against other the team and a group of clowns in a game of King of the Track.
  • Run an entire jam going the opposite direction.
  • Let’s have four jammers on the track at the same time!
  • There’s an obstacle course with some non-standard challenges.
  • Hump your way to victory in a relay race.
  • Do you like dancing? No? well you get to do it in front of everyone.

That’s what the skaters had to deal with, along with a very warm arena with a very slick floor. But they did it, they did it smiling, and accepted every crazy game for what it was! Tubesock Kart turned into a whirling dance of skaters trying to avoid each other’s hits on their balloons. Tubesock’s Most Extreme Elimination Challenge became a showcase of ring tossing and cup stacking prowess. Get These Clowns Outta Here turned into a deadly game of chicken at high speed, and Who Are These Clowns saw my giant, sweaty, sad clown ass jam for two minutes, regretting about minute and a half of it. It was an awesome day with tons of smiles, and even with all these shenanigans, we still had an extremely competitive game of derby that was not decided until the very last round!

At the after party, everyone was buzzing (and bouncing or beer ponging), and remarking how ridiculous some of the games were. Which is exactly what I wanted, a crazy afternoon where the only thing that mattered was the pursuit of happiness just for the sake of it. Tubesock’s Funhouse was a success!

This will most likely be my last skating event before I head back to the states, and I am grateful for all the opportunities I’ve had since hooking up with Suffolk Roller Derby. As I’m closing out my final weeks with the league, it is becoming more evident that these last four years will be a unique time in my life. It will be really hard to recreate the situation I found myself with SRD. I had a job that was not labor intensive, allowing me to concentrate a lot on derby. There was a budding league in need of a coach and they gave me a chance. And there was a glut of roller derby within a very short distance of each other. It was a perfect storm of awesomeness that has enriched my life with people and experiences I’ll never forget. I’m sad to be leaving, but that’s life and that’s roller derby. People come and go, leagues grow and shrink, and we all carry on because we have to. But every once in a while, we get a chance to do things just for the joy of them. Cherish those moments, as I will cherish my time here in the UK.

SRD it was an honor to be your teammate, coach and a member of your family.

Who are we?

-Tubesock Shakur #32

Official Business: Officiating Bootcamp

‘I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers the fear’ Nelson Mandela

Lots of things about derby scare me – the hardness of mastering new skills (the hardness of the floor), the physicality, derby kisses, it’s addictive nature and also whether my husband will find out just how much I spend on pretty new wheels. As with all things, its best to face fears head on as otherwise you feed the monster. This said, the thing that still gives me the most cold sweats is the extraordinary number of intricate rules the beautiful game comes with. I adore derby, but my golly gosh!

Scary Quadmother, Firth of Force & Queen Beestly NSOing at Inspire Suffolk

So at the beginning of the year when the lovely Caz #4250 spear headed the movement to get as many of our league as much NSO training as possible, I was in. We’ve done pretty well between us all, and it has 100% improved my understanding of the sport and actual game play.

Then, last Saturday, we were offered the opportunity to attend a boot camp with the NSO extraordinaire  Yoshi (DominAsian) – a man with an officiating CV so huge, that the only thing to rival it is his mohawk. As well as being informative and jolly, he feed us American candy whilst filling our porous minds with juicy NSO info. There was also a Ref boot camp running concurrently, hosted by Igor Maniac, and after we’d all finished with the learning, we got to flex our newly acquired skills on an intraleague bout (Stowmartians vs Sugartown Saints). A lovely time was had by all.

Not cheering teammates will always remain the hardest part of team grey, way after my stop watch and mental arithmetic skills become proficient. But I truly believe that learning how to NSO will not only make you a better player, but if everyone in the league can do all roles, way more skatey fun can happen. And that is something far from scary.

-Queen Beestly #26






notes from the President…
*See ours amazing officials in action TOMORROW at Inspire Suffolk in Ipswich – they’ll be doing their stuff and running a double header – our Women’s A team vs London Rockin’ Rollers Badasses, and British Champs Tier 2, our Men’s A team vs Mild Discomfort! All details on the event page
*We’re always looking for more NSOs to join our ranks – want to get involved with roller derby but can’t/don’t want to skate? We can train you as an official! Get in touch with us via email or our Facebook page

Later, sports fans 🙂
-Asterisk* #8

I Like What You Block!

In the months leading up to March 26th I really only had one thing on my mind, SRD’s Rick And Morty inspired event, “Show Me What You Block: Interdimensional Roller Derby”. It was my brain child but wasn’t possible without the help of many people. I’m a man of many ideas but unfortunately I have the attention span of a gnat so it took the constant but gentle prodding of our fearless leader Asterisk (Astrid Coxon) to make sure I kept on top of everything from the merch t-shirts to the vendors.

In the end, everything went so much better than I could have hoped for. Both the rookie and advanced games were really exciting to watch – we managed to do a surprisingly good job at balancing both teams as both games were pretty much neck and neck throughout. Several of our own, newer members played in their first or second games at the event and all did an amazing job. The special merch shirts and patches sold well and continue to sell well on the website (more shirt stock coming soon)! Our very own Tubesock Shakur (Jason Ryan) was a hilarious host as “Ripped Rick”, and the piñatas (made by Tomfoolery (Tom Beasley) and Kerry Byrne) for the winning teams went down fantastically well (although Tubesock nearly took a bat to the face – must use foam bats next time!).


I’ve had several great comments from skaters, refs and NSOs saying how fun the event was. It really made the months of planning, prepping and stressing all worth it and will make me much more confident about putting on similar events in the future (maybe with a bit less airhorn).

Thanks to everyone who helped run the event, skated, officiated and cheered on the teams. I had a great day and hope you all did too.


– Rolling Suplex #316







notes from the President…
*Didn’t manage to get to Show Me What You Block? Worry not! You can still catch a slice of the action. Both games are available on our YouTube channel – the rookie game here, and the advanced game here {ok, when I get back from Iceland, because I’m having trouble editing this on my phone! – prez}
*And don’t forget about the SWEET MERCH
*Show Me What You Block will be tough to top, but we’ll do our best – we’ve got a whole load of events lined up for the rest of the year, and more to come soon!

Later, sports fans 🙂
-Asterisk* #8

Show Me What You Block!

It’s just over a week till SRD’s next event, “Show Me What You Block: Inter-dimensional Roller Derby” (is title long enough for you?).

Many teams have hosted TV/Movie themed events, usually based around Harry Potter, Star Wars or Game Of Thrones, and it’s something we’ve wanted to do for a while. It’s a great way to raise extra awareness of your league within the roller derby community, and meet other skaters from all over the country.

We wanted to go for a slightly more obscure theme, something that no other team has done, yet pick something that a lot of us love, and “Rick And Morty” is where we chose to go. Judging by how fast the tickets went it was the right decision to make!

I’m aware that alot of people participating in the event have never even heard of Rick and Morty let alone seen it, Its a very popular new animated sci-fi show that follows the dimension hopping adventures of a young boy called Morty and his alcoholic, genius, scientist grandfather Rick Sanchez. You can watch the whole series on Netflix, I’d highly recommend it to everyone (over the age of 18).

Our event will feature two bouts. The first is a rookie co-ed game between the Meeseeks (a race of identical blue creatures created to serve a singular purpose for which they will go to any length to fulfill) and Unity (a collective hivemind and Rick Sanchez’s former lover).

The second is an intermediate/advanced coed game between The Council Of Ricks (the Council was created when Ricks from other dimensions decided to form a way for Ricks to protect one another from their enemies across reality), and the Mortys of The Multiverse (for every Rick there is a Morty).

The winning team from each game will get to destroy a piñata effigy of our Cromulon overlords and feast on the sugary bounty contained inside.

As well as two awesome games of roller derby we will be having a mini sci-fi con style market featuring stalls selling retro toys and comic TV and film merch. Demon Xtreme skate shop will be holding a roller derby SALE And Press Start Gaming Lounge will be hosting room scale Virtual Reality Gaming which is a truly mind blowing experience if you’ve never tried it.

SRD merchandise will also be for sale, along side a bake sale and most importantly a raffle with a myriad of awesome prizes. Please be aware that this is a cash only event so bring all of your paper and coin moneys to avoid disappointment.

We will also be having a cosplay competition so if you think you could make a perfect Gearhead or a spot on Squanchy then dress up and you might win an awesome prize!

Finally, we will be holding one of our world famous SRD after parties with buffet and karaoke at the Golden Hind pub just down the road.

For £5, what better way to spend Mothe-rick Sunday then watch people on roller skaters knock each other over? See you all there.

– Rolling Suplex #316, Events Manager





notes from the President…
*Thank you to the wonderfully talented Sarah “Miss Behave” Stimpson, “Holly GoFightly” McGregor, and Media & Marketing Manager Georgia “Pixie Guts” Goddard for their stunning work on the artwork and marketing materials for this event
*A limited number of Rick&Morty inspired “Interdimensional Roller Derby” grey t-shirts will be available for purchase on the day of the event

Look forward to seeing you all!
Later, sports fans 🙂
-Asterisk* #8

Coach’s Corner: 21st Jan 2017 double header

Proud is not a strong enough word to describe how I feel about Suffolk Roller Derby following last weekend’s set of bouts. From the organizing of the bout, the production team working behind the scenes and the skaters on the track, it was an all-out effort from the members of SRD and I’m honored to call myself your coach and teammate!

The Men’s team started their 2017 campaign with a tough game against the Lincolnshire Rolling Thunder’s Thugly Ducklings. This was a marked step up in competition for SRD as they prepare for national competition in British Champs. The blockers were able to slow down some of the best jammers in the country, and the jammers were able to breakout and score on a very tough cube wall defense. Super proud of our new addition, Jay Low, who has fit right in with the men’s team, and showed he was a true dual threat, taking on blocking and jamming duties! Also proud to know that no matter the competition, Great Scott and Indi-Hannah Jones will step up and make an impact. They are not honorary Men’s skaters – they are an integral part of the Men’s team!

Photo courtesy of Jonathan Terry

The game was close for the most part, but the Thugly Ducklings were able to pull away towards the end. But a couple of awesome moments that stand out. Floorless taking a leap of faith and apex jumping about 20 feet, it shocked the team, the crowd, and I think himself! We got to see a human being be flipped head over heels, courtesy of myself, and Guy Pie had an amazing game, flying all over the place and taking jammers out!

The women’s A team took to the track against a very competitive Roller Derby Leicester. But representing SRD this day was a very different team from the one that finished last season. The majority of the team had been pulled from the Blue Bees (Suffolk women’s B team) and were getting their first taste of Champs level competition, but by watching them play, you wouldn’t have guessed it. Lead by their captain, Suffolk Punch, and the always hard hitting Lady Lucifer, the Women’s team came out on fire against RDL, getting an early lead and stretching it out. Making her jamming and SRD debut was Mortricia, normally a double threat skater, she took on full time jamming duties and made an awesome impression on both her team and the competition! But leading the charge for the jammers was the strong and fast Devilbird. No matter what RDL threw at her, Devilbird was able to get lead and score points most every jam!

Having the lead for the majority of the game, the women’s A team suffered a couple of key losses during the bout. Kate Astrophic and Lady Lucifer both had injuries that required them to sit out and that opened the door for RDL to take the lead later on. But the team soldiered on, and everyone wearing blue stepped up and closed the gap to setup the most exciting 10 minutes witnessed in Inspire. Struggling with a lack of timeouts and skaters, the team had to make up over 25 points in 2 jams. Cue “Bring it home” Brenda, otherwise known as Maltese Mayhem. With a blocking squad of Pixie Guts, Rough Love, Asterisk, being led by Suffolk Punch, they were able to stonewall the opposing jammer and allow Maltese Mayhem to score 19 unanswered points. Now down by 6, the next jam found Devilbird lined up against RDL’s best jammer. Suffolk Punch was now flanked by Holly GoFightly, Hurricane Ali, and Viva Lass Vegan, and they needed to get Devilbird out, but limit the opposing jammers scoring opportunities. Both jammers were able to get out quickly, but earning lead was our Devilbird! The opposing jammer after one pass got stuck behind our amazing blockers, forcing a star pass to their pivot, limiting their ability to score points. Meanwhile Devilbird was able to make multiple passes racking up the points, but unknown at the time was whether the differential between the two jammers was enough to give SRD the win. She was forced to call off the jam, and following the final whistle, an official review, and the signing of the score sheet, we got our answer. SRD had scored 16 points to RDL’s 8, giving them a 2 point lead and the win!!!

All this excitement wouldn’t have been possible if it weren’t for the members of SRD stepping up in other areas besides the track. We had skaters selling baked goods, repairing the track, NSO’ing, Reffing, announcing, minding the door, so on and so forth! Leagues are not run on hopes and dreams, but by the members of their leagues stepping up where needed and selflessly volunteering their time to make roller derby happen!

If this first weekend was any indication of things to come, 2017 is going to be a bright year for SRD!

Who are we!?

-Tubesock Shakur #32

Photo courtesy of John Hesse




notes from the President…
*There was a write up of the day in the Ipswich Star
*SRD vs Thugly Ducklings game footage (apologies for a few missing jams towards the end – technical difficulties!)
*SRD vs RDL game footage
*RDL are running an officials bootcamp soon! Tell them we sent you 😉
*Our next home event is “Show Me What You Block”! Watch this space for skater tickets

See you soon, sports fans!
-Asterisk* #8